Portraits of Myself

Sometimes when we take photos of ourselves, we have a go-to pose or look that we find works. Some people strike up their good side, some people put their hands on their hips, and some people throw up a peace sign. According to Tyler, I tilt my head to the right. I also usually flash a huge smile on my face.

Oddly enough, I am never satisfied with the self portraits I take to represent myself. I feel a layer of vanity upon any photo I take of myself, and I think the same goes for most people. We want to choose photos that we think we look good in to represent ourselves. However, I am never completely happy and I end up changing it constantly - the picture in my 'About Me,' on my website, etc. The images I find myself choosing to represent who I am - and stay with - are images shot by Tyler. The images that he shoots of me are the most honest versions of me. 

Mamiya RB67 + Kodak T-MAX 100

I never know when or what day he'll shoot a picture of me, so I'll wear what I normally wear - my favorite striped cardigan, skip the curling iron because it kills my hair, and toss it into a messy braid instead. I'll wear a dress I'm not quite sure what to accessorize with, and I'll sling the X100 around my neck.

He'll ask me to stand somewhere and he'll point the camera at me. Because it's him behind the camera, I am relaxed. I am calm. And I'll simply stand there with a small smile while I watch him find focus with the medium format camera he gave me as my graduation present. I ask him, "Is there anything you want me to do?" because this is a film camera and I know he'd want the shot to be perfect before pressing the shutter. And without looking up from the viewfinder and fiddling with the knobs, he'll say "Nah," and the camera snaps.

I didn't do my hair and I never got to choose which photo looked best from the other outtakes, because there were no other outtakes. But I think these will be some of the best images of me, and images I will keep using, because they are just so honest.

Nikon N80 + Fuji Velvia 50

"The camera always points both ways. In expressing your subject, you also express yourself." - Freeman Patterson.

Tyler's images of me are without my own sense of vanity. Instead, (and as cheesy as it sounds) they are seen by eyes that know the real me and show me as I really am.

Mamiya RB67 + Kodak T-MAX 100

Thank you, Tyler. :)


  1. Not cheesy at all. That is some real connection you two have. Keep the great photos coming :D

  2. I agree with Kelven. Not cheesy at all! I personally prefer to be behind the camera and just am rarely satisfied with photos of myself (I'm awkward, stiff, or too posed). I have also noticed that I am the most honest and relaxed when my boyfriend (now fiance!) takes photos of me. Your sweet post about Tyler made me smile -- I am so glad that you have someone whom you can be relaxed and transparent with! :-)